How To Create Boundaries and Balance When It Comes To Your Phone
I know i’m not the only one that finds themselves a bit too attached to their phone, and honestly I don’t think I spend nearly as much time as others. Last week I averaged 2.5 hours daily screen time, so, not bad. It still feels overwhelming sometimes, this phone. I often day dream about the times before smart phones. When there was no internet on your phone, it was just a phone. A simple use of communication.
We have conditioned ourselves into thinking we should have this device on and available all hours of the day. And while I do enjoy the convenience of the internet, the ability to take high quality photos at any time, tools, like the calendar, calculator, weather. There is just so much increased efficiency with having a smart phone BUT, what are we sacrificing with that? Time and energy. Two very important pieces of our lives. It’s so easy to get consumed and over stimulated by all the apps, texts, social media platforms, photos, etc. That’s why I am a firm believer in setting clear boundaries with your phone!
We are in a time where everyone automatically thinks they have immediate access to you and your time. Just because someone has your number and they can contact you doesn’t mean they have access to your time and energy in THAT moment. I know everyone has their own set of specific work commitments they DO need to be available for, so I am not discounting that, I am talking about our personal time here. And obviously YOU make the judgement of what is pressing and requires your attention. My point is to set boundaries with when you decide to respond and to carve out time where you are phone free.
A few things that have helped me disconnect…
I try to not look at my phone first thing in the morning. I’m not always perfect with this, but on most days I make a conscious effort to keep my phone away from me until I have done the things for my well-being first. That includes making coffee and reading a few chapters of a book. Something about reading while your coffee brews feels so chill, peaceful and still. I am not a big reader, never have been. It’s always been a struggle, but finding things I want and look forward to reading has been so rewarding. And at night, I am doing the same thing. NOT looking at my phone while I am in bed and reading a few chapters of my book. It’s a little harder at night for me to read. I like to watch nostalgic shows like FRIENDS to get me nice and sleepy. And sometimes I still do, but I actively try to work in reading and not looking at a screen.
I do really enjoy aspects Instagram, Pinterest and Youtube because I have tailored my experience to benefit my well-being. I know these platforms can easily suck you in and after you know it, an hour has gone by and you’re like what the hell was I just looking at for an hour?! I like to set time frames throughout the day when I am active on social media. I think we all know that social media is not always used to benefit our mental and emotional health. Opposite actually. It is causing anxiety, stress, and self doubt. But, YOU have the ability to follow and unfollow whomever you want. Choose content that brings you joy, inspires you, makes you feel content and confident. And filter through all the bullshit!
Notifications will all still be there when you are ready to go back in. I disable almost all of my notifications, including social media so that I can go on phone to use certain tools and not be distracted my random notifications. If I want to see a specific notification, I will see them when I open that app. Nothing will happen on social media while you are not on it. It’s not going anywhere.
Create new hobbies or delve into tasks that motivate and inspire you that don’t involve your phone. I love just turning on my Pandora (from my laptop) and organizing a closet or room undistracted. Sitting down to read a book. This is something that has taken me a VERY long time to get into. I have never been a big reader and was always inconsistent with it. I choose books that I am enthralled by, that I look forward to picking up and actually want to read. If I start something and I am not into it, I don’t continue. There are so many books out there. Find ones that you can’t put down and encourage you to read.
Be silent. I think a lot of people have a difficult time just being alone, by themselves, in complete stillness. Just you and your thoughts. Take 10 minutes to lie down in silence, clear your mind, take deep, slow, conscious breaths and just be for a little. We are in such a fast paced society where we go go go and it’s exhausting. As an introvert, this small act does wonders for me. It’s something I enjoy doing to kinda recalibrate my mindset.
Go for a long walk. Another thing I love doing for my well-being. With this activity I do normally take my phone. But I use it just for podcasts or pandora and turn on do not disturb. I have a blog post here of some of my go to podcasts that I love to listen to. I love a good smooth jazz/coffee house style station when I am walking. I totally romanticize those moments. The wind, the sun on my skin, it’s so simple and yet is such a mood booster.
Next time you see a notification come pop up on your phone, ask yourself this: Can this wait a couple hours? Am I ready to respond to that? Am I in the headspace to have this conversation? Will this take more than I am willing to give right now? You have no obligation to anyone to stop what you are doing and how you are feeling to give someone else a response.
